if i were
i’d be soaking up summer’s day
lounging at the pool
or chewin’ on his brand new hiking shoes
you know, the ones we can't wait for him to put on
come on, man
put the laptop down
and put those suckers on!
what do you mean
'no laces?'
really i'm not as happy as my dogs are
if i were
i'd be waiting
just waiting for my next nuclear burst
of exploding energy
as i rip the door to shreds
beat an unraveling path down the carpeted hall
blow off the elevator
opt for the fire escape
race down eighteen flights of stairs
all the while barking at the railing
for kicks, mind you
and never once thinking about a leash...
hey, wait a minute
where's my leash?
hey, wait a minute
what's a leash?
i'm not as happy as my dogs are
i got too much yesterday in me
too many pipe dreams
too much world
too much gravity
a recession
and not enough now
not enough now?
come on, man
we don't care about now
we don't even know what now is...
...but gravity?
we know about gravity...
grrrrrrrrrrrrravity!
i'm not as happy as my dogs are
but i'm pretty darn close
especially when i'm buh-bye-ing yesterday
or unwrenching my pipe dreams
or when i stop trying to see beyond
what's right in front of me
hey look!
the sky!
hey look!
a poodle!
hey look!
he's smiling again...
these are true confessions:
i'm not as happy as my dogs are
but they are my dogs
and i'm trying
and they're starting to rub off on me
the good one, lucy
all heart
all heart
all heart
and even the cunning one i affectionately call
lestat or cujo or shadow or – lately – grinch
are you done?
put the laptop down
put those suckers on
and meet 'no laces' for a change!
yup, there you have it
as i say it thrice:
i'm not as happy as my dogs are
i'm not as happy as my dogs are
i'm not as happy as my dogs are
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